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Wedding Thank You Notes

by Lisa Beth Miller

Your wedding adventure isn’t truly complete until the last thank you note has been dropped into the mail. We all know how important it is to be gracious and show wedding guests that we appreciate them! As couples tackle the task of writing notes of gratitude, it is important that they avoid a few possible etiquette mistakes.

Most Common Thank-You Note Mistakes:

Taking Too Long To Send Them

I get it.  You’re busy.  After you get married, your life usually goes through a lot of changes.  First you’ve got the honeymoon.  That’s at least two weeks. Maybe you’re moving in together or to a different city altogether.

It matters not.  You have to find the time to get those thank you notes in the mail. Your guests bought you gifts, and helped to make your special day special.  Sending out your thank you notes needs to be at the top of your priority list.

How long is too long?  Emily Post says three months, and I’m inclined to agree with her.  If you can’t get it done in three months, you’re not busy, you’re putting it off.  You don’t want Aunt Patty looking down her nose at you come Christmas time.  Just get it done.

Not Personalizing Them

I understand the temptation.  At one point it seemed like a good idea to invite 400 people, but now that you have 400 thank you notes to write… not so much.

Unfortunately, you need to personalize each note, and mention how much you love that pasta maker they got you.  Make sure your spouse is sharing the load, and it won’t take too long.

Not Handwriting Them

You may not have touched a pen in years, but you’re going to have to pick one up for your thank you notes.  It’s OK if your handwriting hasn’t improved since 5th grade.  It just needs to be legible.

Why is hand writing your note so important? Simply put, hand writing is more personal. I still keep every handwritten letter that I receive.  You can glean so much more by looking at someone’s writing.  You can see the patience and care that went into the note.

Thank you notes may be the last remaining form of communication where hand writing is important and necessary.

Forgetting Someone

No one likes to be forgotten.

If Jack and Jill Jones gave you the box set of The Office for your wedding, your thank you note to them needs to read “Dear Jack and Jill Jones”.  If it just reads, “Dear Jack Jones,” don’t be surprised if Jill starts skipping out on your dinner parties.

Unlike the rest of the faux pas on this list, this one usually occurs by accident.  But, accident or not, you want to avoid it at all costs.  It would be better to not send a note at all, than to omit someone who cared enough to attend your wedding and buy you a gift.

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